spilledsecrets's Blog

It's not often I feel the urge to blog about positive occurrences in my life.  I would have attached this to my previous blog entry today but somehow a rambling wall of text about my hair doesn't blend well into bragging about aspects of my life that are totally unrelated.

Anyways, today I checked the mail and finally got my acceptance letter for my pharmacy tech program. I was so excited, I scheduled all of my prerequisites as soon as I got my letter and instructions. I scheduled a CPR certification class for this Saturday (and while I was at it, I emailed the volunteer director about coming back for the summer, though I feel kind of embarrassed for flaking out on her this semester). Then I located a primary care specialist and made an appointment for a physical exam next Wednesday. I would go ahead and schedule my drug screening but I may be able to do that after my physical so I figure I'll just wait and ask at the hospital. I should have asked about that while I was on the phone but to be honest, I was nervous and forgot. I still have bouts of social anxiety creep up now and then so making the phone call in the first place was a little nerve wrecking. Tomorrow I'm planning to return my acceptance form and then on June 13th, I go back to school for a mandatory meeting about the upcoming program.

I'm nervous. I'm excited. I hope I don't mess things up!

One incident I also wanted to mention was an occurrence that happened last night. In and of itself, it wasn't anything special. I was stretched out on the sofa reading and my husband came by. He kneeled by me and just watched me, his head slightly tilted, with a comfortable, relaxed smile on his face. It only happened for a few seconds before we started talking but I feel like those few seconds were frozen in time, because I remember making a mental note of it and admiring my husband for what seemed like an eternity once I looked up from my book and saw him positioned like that. The shape of his eyes were crescent-like, and they sparkled. And I mean quite literally, they sparkled. He has these almost black eyes that reflect light so well. Even in other people with such dark eyes, i never notice the kind of glimmer and light coming off of them the way they do in my husband.

The reason this stuck out was because it also reminded me of my ex, who often did the same thing in general terms - he would position himself in my view and quietly watch me. But he never made me feel the kind of warmth and love my husband garnered. When my ex did it, I often felt annoyed, and frustrated, like pressurized air fighting to explode the container holding it.

The difference between the two men was the overall atmosphere. My husband was relaxed, and just enjoying a quiet moment with his wife. It made me feel comfort.  But my ex....the atmosphere with him was tense as a result of insecurity. He did it as a way to search for my attention. It was not unlike a dog or a puppy who sits in front of his owner and expectantly, eagerly waits for an "Attaboy!"  or a treat.  Though I can't say that at times, especially later in the relationship, I didn't bring it on myself. There definitely were times my attentions toward him grew cold and detached, and of course, he would genuinely be yearning for me to show him love and affection. But I can't be fully to blame because he was always like that, and I think that's what infuriated me. Because for years, no matter how hard I tried, or how genuine I was, it was never enough. I was accused of not showing support when I had done nothing but give as much support as I could possibly muster, and genuine, honest support at that, not just going through the motions. If I complimented him, it was never enough to satiate. My best efforts to comfort, soothe, and uplift failed and sank miserably with a disparaging "THUD!", like a lead balloon thrown off a cliff, and hit especially hard during those first years when I thought I could save what I romanticized as his poor, misunderstood soul of an artist, if only I loved hard enough. And it wasn't just me. It was everybody. He so very much wanted the approval of everyone around him and never seemed to absorb it. He would reap the ego boost it gave him for a while and soon it was like he never received anything.

And that made me angry. Seeing him sit there in front of me, with his eyes, not relaxed and sparkling, but wide, and begging for validation and approval, of which I was completely inept and unable to give, and I had grown exhausted, tired, weary of even trying. In a way, it felt selfish on his part, almost as if he were actively trying to suck the energy from my spirit, though I know that wasn't his intent. I felt as though he were asking me to give from a well he refused to comprehend as having a bottom, a limit, whereas my husband doing the same physical motions was both giving and taking energy and compassion, and love with me. We were connected.

It's amazing to me how two people can do, in basic terms, the same thing, and yet can communicate two completely different classes of feeling, and thought, and emotion. Just little nuances that are done instinctively, like leaning forward or back an inch or two, or just ever so slightly relaxing the muscles around the eyes, or raising or lowering the shoulders just a centimeter or so can make a wild difference in the message and feelings purveyed...those subtle differences in and of themselves, may not even be noticed consciously but the human brain can still interpret them - what is it, about 90% of communication is nonverbal?

Anyways, that whole seconds-long scenario amazed me, but also made me even more thankful to have my husband. To have come this far and be able to feel that kind of connection with someone and have it radiate throughout every part of my being without so much as having put a finger on one another or having said a word. I realize I sound like some new age hippie more and more, but I genuinely cherish having found the ebb and flow, the give and take, the exchanging, and melding, and combining of energy with someone, and the result of which leaves me feeling on top of the world and beyond.

I am getting impatient. Tomorrow marks my third week of no shampoo and there doesn't seem to be any change in the amount of oil in my hair. Being the worry-wart hypochondriac that I am, I sometimes wonder if my hair thinks it's supposed to be like this all the time and isn't going to recalibrate, after all. It never really gets too bad. It feels oily, and it does look somewhat oily when I wake, but after straightening, you can't tell and for that reason, sometimes I think my hair isn't transitioning at all, because I was fully expecting my hair to look disgusting by now and then it would start to improve drastically. This kind of in-between stage has me worried...yes, the fact that my hair has been resiliently nice-looking has me worried. Because it's nice looking but it feels kind of gross and that is not the hair I want, ultimately.

Sometimes I try to go online to see where others are in their no shampoo projects to compare progress, but it's really hard to find someone who is only using water on their scalps and not, in fact, shampooing with baking soda. That makes me feel somewhat alone and lost in this "journey." And today when i did my search, I had a freakout.

I came across a few posts where people weren't experiencing a sebum buildup, but one caused by hard water, and if that's the case, you can't "transition" that kind of waxy buildup away. So then I started thinking that maybe the reason my hair was going nowhere was because of hard water. I didn't know if I had hard water or not yet but I was already heavily disappointed. I kept thinking I went 3 weeks of this kind of hair, for nothing! I was looking forward to the day I could announce that I wasn't using shampoo and now that day would never come.

There were some solutions to the problem but they were either expensive water softeners (and I don't even know if I can use a water softener when I live in an apartment) or so much effort that it made going no-shampoo worthless. The point of doing this was so that I would give myself less work, effort, and dependency in regards to my hair, which definitely would not happen if I had to specifically buy distilled water for my hair, boil water just for the purpose of washing my hair, and make concoctions to clarify the mineral buildup out of my hair.

So I read about some of the signs of hard water in hair - a particularly waxy feeling in the hair, for one. That didn't help me as I wasn't sure what distinguished a "waxy" feeling from a normal "oily" feeling - I mean, I had some idea, but I don't know for sure. Also, white, "dusty" residue from the mineral buildup -OR- from the baking soda not washing out due to the hard water. Hm. Well, there were tiny, white, dusty looking particles on my hairbrush but I just assumed it was oil buildup or maybe just fibers from my towel or blankets that get caught in my hair - after all, boar bristle brushes tend to catch those little particles, anyway. So no sure-fire clue there, although the fact that my brush had white sediment on it made my heart sink because I assumed the worst. One girl described her buildup as feeling thick as opposed to lank, which was definitely me. So now I was feeling even more dissipated. That wonderful Pretty-Little-Liars body I had may be due to mineral deposits that will never truly rid of the gucky feeling. But then I did remember one woman blogging that during her transition period, she had some really wonderful hair days.

So the next thing I did was research how to tell if my water was hard or soft. I checked  the sinks for mineral residue and found maybe a speck or two here and there but not really any kind of buildup. So that was good. Also, I remembered the way glasses had spots and minerals deposited around the faucets of my childhood home so at least now I had a reference to go by that I actually experienced previously. So test one passed. Next, I opened the dishwasher, where we keep dishes - we don't actually use the dishwasher, btw. We wash them by hand and then use the dishwasher racks to dry and store them - hey, makes use of a an area of our kitchen that would otherwise be ignored and saves us a ton of cabinet space in our closet-sized kitchen. Anyways, there were maybe one or two spots on a glass, but after rubbing it with my finger, they smeared and vanished. So not sure if it was mineral depositing or maybe I just didn't wash that glass thoroughly enough, but either way, it wasn't spotty the way glasses at my dad's house were. Next I boiled some tea and checked it for cloudiness - looks pretty clear to me so that was good. Finally, I filled a bottle halfway with water and then shook up some dish soap and was relieved to see how well it foamed...which I already knew it would foam but until I saw a video demonstrating how hard water really didn't foam at all, I thought maybe there was some distance between hard water and soft water foam - like hard water foam would reach the top of the bottle but soft water foam would spill over the bottle neck.

So, after freaking out, I'm glad to say I was just being overly anxious as usual, and my water is probably not having an adverse effect to not shampooing, so I suppose I'll chalk it up to having a slow transition period and keep on keepin' on.  Which is good because for a minute there, i was ready to abandon the whole thing and practically dump a whole bottle of shampoo on my head.

My hair is not very fun to touch but man, it looks great today! It looks like it has more body and when I finished flat ironing it, I said "I have pretty little liar hair" Specifically, Shay Mitchell's character, Emily. I've been trying to get my hair to look as full as hers for a while with different hair products and styling, but to no avail:

Didn't blog yesterday but my hair was less oily than normal as of late. Today it's super oily. Kind of glad I have to work today because it gives me an excuse to wear it in a braid.

All my final exams are finished - made straight A's this semester! Now all I have to do is wait for an acceptance letter to start clinicals, and until then, I'll probably waste time reading and playing PC games.

I'm tempted to buy another perfume. I went to Walmart yesterday to buy a spray bottle for my homemade hairspray and decided to look through the beauty section. Saved a few perfume titles that interested me - Villain, by Ed Hardy, Truth or Dare by Madonna, and Poppy by Coach. Read the reviews for all three and lost interest in Villain and Truth or Dare but I have a craving to buy Poppy. I won't though, because I have way too many perfumes already. I curbed the fix by spraying Dolce and Gabbana's The One to remind me I already have a great perfume collection.

And I guess that's it for today. A boring blog entry with nothing of significance.

As the oil builds up, I'm starting to really miss shampoo. I miss having light, airy hair.

I'm feeling unattractive in general today, as well. I've been thinking about how this year I'll be 25. Officially in my mid-20's. Not as attractive as I was between ages 18-21. Not that people past 21 aren't attractive, but the "hot factor" starts to slow down for most people. I keep staring at my face in the mirror thinking "Do I look 25?" I put on a pink summer dress for school and then changed out of it because I felt too dressed up and not pretty enough to wear it.  Ridiculously vain, I know. I miss being complimented on my looks, which hasn't happened in what feels like a long while.

On the up side, I had a great coincidence yesterday. I was sitting in the healthcare building lounge studying when my pharmacy professor walked up to me and told me to go to the Allied Health office on Thursday to make sure my address is correct on my application because they'll be sending out acceptance letters towards the end of May/beginning of June. And if you read yesterday's blog, I was freaking out big time over that. So...perfect timing on that. Spared me the opportunity of being annoying and looking crazy by desperately pestering him about it.

Woke up extra early today so I decided to take pictures of what 11 day old hair looks like. If I fluff it up a bit at the crown, it looks normal but when I brush it flat, you can see some of the oil that's been building. I can actually see oil deposits on my brush after a few days now, which is kind of gross, but also kind of cool.

Side View: a little blurry but I'm too lazy to retake it.


Brushed down.


Slightly tousled to hide the extra oil


The reason I'm up early today is because I have butterflies in my stomach. Applications for the pharmacy tech program were starting to be reviewed the first week of May and then we have to wait for notice in the mail, and I haven't received anything yet. So all sorts of things are going through my mind:

"If I get rejected, do they still send me a notice? What if the reason I haven't heard anything is because they rejected me and rejects don't get notices? What should I do then? Go to the pharmacy head's office and cry and beg, maybe. Or down to the admission room, pleading that I'll do anything if they let me in. Get hostile and argue that maybe I do only have a 3.6 GPA, but most of that is from my last degree and if they would look at the classes that actually correspond to the program, they'd see I have all A's, and I don't have an English grade because my ACT scores were so high, I was exempt from taking the class, and they have the nerve to tell me I'm not smart enough to be accepted? 'I demand an appeal!' What time is it anyways? Crap! 6:30! I have a final today. I really need to get some sleep now so that I won't crash and burn later, since I didn't go to bed til 1:30. But I can't sleep, I'm too wired and nervous. Maybe if I change positions....nope, still uncomfortable, still wide awake. Maybe if I turn my pillow over and spread out the blanket some more....nope, that doesn't work, either. Fuck! How am I going to study for my other finals if I can't get enough sleep? Especially my drug class final. I definitely can't prove I deserve to be accepted if I fail my pharmacy final. Maybe I'll get something in the mail today. I hate waiting and being let down every day. Why won't they just tell me? Maybe in my e-mail? No, they said they'd mail it snail mail. I really need to sleep...fuck it, I might as well get up because this is useless."

And then I got up and got ready for class. It's 8:00 am now. Still nervous.

My hair looks fine today in more than one sense.

It looks fine as in "decent" in relation to hair oiliness; it doesn't have that greased, wet appearance. It also looks fine as in "thin" because as of today it just hangs there being limp from the weight of excess oil. Decided to wear it up today.

So in researching no shampoo, I've come across several abbreviations. BS/ACV for baking soda and apple cider vinegar washing, CO for conditioner only, which is technically my category, even though I just use it as a detangler and don't scrub my scalp and roots with it like some CO washers, WO for water-only washing, and SO. SO? WHat is SO? I wondered. As I found out, it stands for sebum only - no water, soap, nothing.

I'm sorry, but gross. Call it whatever you want but "sebum only" is just a polite phrase for "dirty, funky hair." It's not just the sebum/oil that collects, there's also trapped dirt, dust, and skin buildup, which can lead to dandruff if you're not at least running hot water through it. I work in a restaurant and even after going into work with a fresh shampoo, I sometimes came home with visibly greasy hair that smelled like butter and steak fat because of my job. I could not for one second fathom leaving it there. Also, as I've mentioned before, my ex did this involuntarily when he dropped out of college but was afraid to go home and so was homeless for 2 weeks. After less than a week, he stank. And it's not like he was rolling around in the elements for 2 weeks, he was spending nights in his truck and his days over at friends' houses (why he didn't shower there, I don't know). Let me say that again - after one week of not washing, he stank! Not just his body, his hair, too. In fact, most, if not all of the odor actually came from his hair and all the oil and dirt that had collected on it. The way he smelled, I've smelled on myself when I was younger and wanted to skip showering for 2 days. I could smell my own hair and it was not pleasant. I don't understand why some people would think even water was out of the question for their hair. Maybe it works, I don't know. But I am definitely not trying it. I realize now that our bodies actually need way less effort than we all think to stay clean - hot water and exfoliation are enough to stay clean and odor-free of daily, non-dangerous dirt and bacteria - but "sebum only" is just a bit too minimal for me.

Kind of scared that my hair is transitioning into ugly territory. Yesterday after I made my blog post, I sensed my hair still felt oily, but it actually felt less oily  than it had been - about the same as Day 4. I was kind of ecstatic but admittedly, wasn't sure if it actually was less oily or if I was just getting used to it.

Today it's definitely making up for lost time. It's passable, but barely. I think it's starting to show the oil on my head. Brushed it out to try to distribute the oil and flat ironed it, even though today has to be a ponytail day regardless of how my hair looks (Mother's Day at the restaurant, so I have to work all day). It just makes me feel better and less hobo-ish to flat iron.

I also looked up recipes for homemade detangler and hairspray. I can't use many store products on my hair because the chemicals build up and can't be removed without a chemically-laden shampoo. That's actually a downside of going no shampoo. While I may be free from the "chains of shampoo" I'm also forcing myself to give up pretty much all hair products, which to be honest, I wasn't anticipating.

Luckily, though, the good old internet age means that I can  find an all-natural DIY version of pretty much everything. Hairspray was diluted sugar water, and upon reading that, my brain reached back into the dark, cobwebbed corners of my memory and dusted off a faded, old recollection of my youth, when I actually tried this before. I remember all I did was make my hair sticky and jelly-like.  I had to research "homemade hairspray sticky" to realize that it's not sticky unless I use too much sugar or a spray bottle without a fine mist, and I did both of those things when I was younger, so I'm ready to try again, now that I'm older and wiser.

Homemade detangler is mostly marshmallow root, which I'm dying to try as soon as I can find a place around town that sells marshmallow root. We don't exactly have natural food stores around the corner here. I've been using a store bought conditioner on my hair through this whole experiment to detangle, and while I'm mostly sure it's safe, I'd rather not take any chances and I'm kind of making myself feel guilty about using it.

Homemade laundry soap, no shampoo, homemade hair products...I think I'm slowly but surely turning myself into a hippie. Not such a bad thing, though.

It's the same. Feels kind of oily, looks fine. Really, the only reason I'm making an entry today is to keep myself in the habit so I don't lose track. Marking a calendar would probably be easier, but oh well.

I found a tutorial online for a voluminous ponytail (not that stupid looking "faux hawk" ponytail) that required teasing but all I did was make the middle of my head a little more tangled, and then it unraveled fairly quickly. I need hairspray but the only hairspray I have contains dimethicone, which I think requires chemical shampoo to remove so I'm not using it.

I also forgot to mention that this no-washing thing is a secret. I'm hoping I can make my entire transition phase without anyone noticing. Not that I don't want to tell people, but if I do it right now, I'm afraid they'll criticize me and go "See? Your hair is dirty" even though it isn't. And sometimes my husband thinks he's a doctor of health and science, and doctor knows best. It took me over a month to get him to use my homemade laundry detergent because he once chemically burned his clothes so he assumed my detergent had some kind of nasty chemical mixture as well. I'm also the one pursuing a pharmacy certification and he still challenges me sometimes on drug-related things that I know I'm making sense on.  So it's best that I wait until my hair is normalized so that I have proof that hair doesn't need shampoo. Can't argue with results.

Also, about the 5 hours I intended to spend studying yesterday in lieu of the work shift I gave up - didn't happen. Spent the entire night dancing to music and watching standup comedy on Youtube - Hal Sparks, Patton Oswalt, Kathy Griffin. Did not do shit, academically. I feel kind of guilty that I wasted 5 entire hours that i actively sought to free up.

On the upside, I spent 2 or 3 hours after class yesterday studying so I think i've mostly got the info for my first final down already, so I'm rationalizing my total procrastination with that, even though deep down i know that even if I had my first final studied for, I've got 2 other killer finals that I needed to freshen up on. By the way, rationalization was one of the defense mechanism terms I have to know for Final #1. I feel overly proud of myself for having just utilized it in my daily life.

Today marks the 7th day, and officially the first full week of going without any shampoo in my hair. And I can still wear it down. So at the very least I've discovered I can go a week without shampooing my hair if need be.

I intend to spend all day today studying for my final on Monday since this is the last chance - I have to go to work early tomorrow and then I have to work all day Sunday. Which probably means staying at school because if i come home, I know I'll just eat junk food and watch videos on youtube.

My head is still doing alright. Didn't flat iron it today since it has to be in a ponytail for work so I just tied it back. I have to say, though, I am missing my shampoo days. For one thing, I miss the scent; when my husband came out of the shower last night smelling like soap and shampoo, I was envious. I miss my head smelling like "girl hair." Also, I just miss not having the oil buildup. Even though it's not noticeable yet, and even though my hair looks nice, it doesn't feel nice.

However, those reasons aren't enough to deter me, yet. I still like the idea of not being dependent on shampoo. I can't wait for this transition period to subside so that I can have normal-feeling hair without shampoo.

I recently found another blog of a man who went no shampoo and after the first week, he captioned a photo of his hair, saying that if that was as bad as the oil was going to get, it should be smooth sailing.

And then week 2 came. He complained that the oil in his hair was so bad, he had to get a haircut. I have a feeling that's where my hair is going because I'm almost through with my first week and each day I've been overall impressed with how well my hair was handling. However, it is getting oilier each day so I have a feeling that midway through week 2, I'm not going to be so happy. His transition period lasted about 3 or 4 weeks, since he didn't get really oily til week 2, and I was really hoping mine would only last the first 2 weeks. Maybe by some miracle, it will. Here's hoping.

Still doing ok, and my hair looks like it has a bit more body today. Probably from the oil building up but still - not complaining. Oil is starting to show on the back of my head but it's still very minor and I can still get away with wearing my hair down. I think my boar bristle brush and the act of flat-ironing is helping a bit to distribute the oil all the way down my hair shafts.

My hair still looks acceptable enough to wear down but it's definitely getting oilier. I could feel residue oil on my hands today after I flat ironed it. I'm hoping my hair will hold out the full week before I have to break and use a baking soda wash. But still, 4 days - I'm already more than halfway through my first week.

Also this week - time to study for finals. I'm really nervous because they're all cumulative and I've never had a cumulative final. Yep, I have a degree already but have never taken a cumulative exam.  All through college during my first degree, the final was either on the last few chapters of the semester or an advanced essay (since I'm an English major). I'm not really sure how to study for a cumulative exam but I guess I'll find out....

I was completely expecting my hair to be even oilier to the point where I was going to be bothered by it. I mentioned yesterday I planned to start my baking soda wash tonight.

I'm happy to say, I think I can hold off even longer. My hair does feel a little heavy but not any more than it did yesterday. It still looks pretty good, too.

I did try conditioning with apple cider vinegar yesterday, too. The recipe I've read everywhere is one tablespoon to one cup of water but that wasn't really enough to detangle my hair. Maybe in the future I'll try again with more vinegar but for now, I still prefer my store-bought conditioner since it works fast and smells nice.

I think my choice of shampoo and conditioner might be attributing to an easier transition but I can't say for sure because it's still so early. I use Suave Naturals, which isn't as harsh as most other shampoos out there. There are sulfates, but no 'cones to dry my hair out.

Regardless, I'm already impressed at how well washing with water only has worked out. Normally if I don't wash my hair at all, the buildup is pretty nasty by the second day but with just water, I've made it to 3 days with some pretty nice hair. Check out the proof:




That's my hair from this morning, after being flat ironed. High shine and it doesn't look at all greasy. Straightening was also easier because my hair wasn't frizzy the way it gets with shampoo.

A couple of nights ago I got out of the shower and wondered just how abnormal it was that I don't use soap very often.

I know people may have just read that and thought "ewww." But the truth is, I've never felt I needed it unless I was using antibacterial soap after things like using the bathroom, handling food or pets, washing off blood, etc. But just for daily showering - don't really use it and I don't stink. In fact, people tell me I smell good.

What I discovered was that while it's not the conventional norm, it's definitely not abnormal. Lots of people have ditched soap for the same reason - it's quite frankly not necessary except for scenarios similar to the ones I described above. As a matter of fact, soap might actually be doing more harm than good by drying out skin and taking away the good bacteria. It's the exfoliating action of using a wash cloth or a scrubber that really gets you clean in a daily shower, not the actual soap.

But then, things went into a territory not even I ventured - no shampoo. Now that one...that one made me think "ewww." I remember when my ex was homeless for 2 weeks and didn't shower. He stank, really badly. I also remember when I was younger and occasionally skipped my nightly showers thinking I was too tired and I'd just do it the next day. What resulted was acne and oily, greasy, slightly smelly hair. So for years, I couldn't stand to go a day without shampooing my hair. But as I read, not showering and not using shampoo/soap are two very different things, surprisingly.

I started on a man's blog where he described his experience after deciding to shower with just water - he would scrub down and massage his head just like a normal shower, but he just wouldn't add soap or shampoo. I kept reading, still skeptical, and finally got to the photos. He took pictures of his hair after months of not using shampoo. And let me tell you, it was beautiful. It was shiny, soft-looking, and most importantly, not greasy. At all. And like me, he found that people told him he smelled pleasant.

I was amazed. And more so, when I read the conclusion to his blog, he mentioned how his experiment proves just how brainwashed we are by media and advertisements that tell us we NEED these products when we really don't. Our bodies calibrate themselves just fine. Our hair gets oily fast because we dry it out with shampoo but if we just let it do its' thing and control the daily dust and dirt (which water alone does just fine) as opposed to the dust, dirt, and natural oil, it produces less and less oil until it starts making just enough to leave hair manageable and healthy. It doesn't need our help.

So then I searched Google and found countless personal stories of others who were saying the exact same thing. Who were getting the exact same results. Men, women, thick hair, thin hair, straight hair, curly hair, it didn't matter. Some of them said their dandruff cleared up after giving up shampoo (yes, including dandruff shampoo). One woman recounted a memory of her boyfriend snuggling up to her and telling her how he can't get enough of the way she smells from head to foot and she told him she hadn't used soap or shampoo in years.

So now I want to try it. I keep imagine how liberating it would feel to be free of shampoo. How convenient it would be to shower anywhere without having to worry about my hair overproducing oil if I don't have shampoo or soap available.

I'm currently on Day 2 of Now shampoo. Friday night was my first night of ditching my hair soap. And I was nervous. I work in a restaurant, so I come home pretty stinky. I was worried that not using any soap with just leave the residue on my skin and hair. But I forged ahead anyways. I took my wash cloth and scrubbed down sans soap, and then wriggled my fingers through my hair and all over my scalp sans shampoo. Now, I did still use my conditioner. I don't intend to give that up just because it detangles my hair and allows my to slip my fingers through it and brush it smooth when I get out. But I use my conditioner on my hair ends, not my scalp, so I don't think it will set back my hair's ability to recalibrate its oil production. I read that I can condition with apple cider vinegar but my conditioner is cheap enough and it leaves a nice smell afterwards so I'd rather just use that. Maybe after I get through my transition period of no shampoo use, I can try ditching conditioner.

Speaking of the transition period, that's the only thing I'm worried about. For around 2 weeks, maybe 3, my hair will overproduce oil and look pretty nasty because my hair is still trying to overcompensate for the shampoo use. After my first no-shampoo night, my hair was pretty much the same. I could feel trace amounts of extra oil but that was all. And my hair and skin smelled nice, not like the restaurant, thank God. Last night was my second no-shampoo night and today my hair feels slightly heavier with oil but still, not enough to be noticeable at all. My fly-aways are more manageable in this state so it's pretty nice, actually.

I might start using baking soda fairly soon but I want to hold out as long as possible. I read that while transitioning, it's ok to use baking soda as a substitute shampoo because it helps control the oil without stripping hair so it won't impede the process very much at all. I would rather just skip it altogether but let's face it. I have bangs. I have long hair. I have a life. I can't rough it out looking like a homeless hippie even if it's just 2 weeks. People with short hair have an advantage in this because excess oil is a lot less noticeable for them.

I'm going to try one more night with just water but i have a suspect feeling that tomorrow night I'll be breaking out the baking soda.

If that works, I'll definitely continue. But I have to warn, I have a feeling, I may break and go back to shampoo. I don't have a very good track record with sticking out new routines. I'm vain and don't really like the idea of having a grease head, even temporarily. And I like the way shampoo makes my hair smell.

But on the other hand, I still get my olfactory fix with scented conditioner, and I really, really like the idea of not being dependent on shampoo. We'll see. I'll try to stay updated on here as a way to keep records and motivation for myself. But no promises.

I have to say, though, I'm excited.

I'm procrastinating. I have a speech to deliver in my communications class tomorrow, and a drug therapy test on Thursday, and I'm not preparing for either of those events. Mostly the speech.

I keep telling myself "This is the last one. After this speech, you'll be done with the class. All you have to do is take the written final. Just push through this last time."

But still, I feel too anxious to even practice. I've felt that way about every speech I've given this semester. Granted, this one shouldn't be too bad because I already gave a longer version of it in my other health class last week (I know it's cheating but I didn't want to prepare 2 speeches) so I do already know it. That still doesn't take away from the fact that I really should be rehearsing the flow of my speech. Especially since I've had to trim it down to meet the time requirement and i think it's still too long - I actually hate doing that, by the way, because my speech is infinitely better in the longer version. I should be happy to give myself less talking time but then I worry that it will be too weak, and since it's a persuasive speech, content weakness is a very big factor to watch for.

It's almost 8:30. I have an hour and a half before DH comes home and I definitely can't practice with him here.  I need to get started. I do have to say, though, that when I gave the longer version, my teacher commended my presentation, gave me a 99% and said he rarely gives those out, and then asked if I did public speaking before. So this class actually has done me a world of good. But i'll still be glad when it's over.

Off to practice....

Woke up to hear my husband closing the front door and leaving for work. Sent him a text that read "You didn't even say goodbye. Maybe it's not important to you but that really hurts my feelings"

I know it seems like a small issue but we always say goodbye and kiss before one of us leaves, either him to work or me to school, depending on our schedules. It's something that happens without fail so when it didn't, I actually teared up a little. I believe that when couples abandon the small things like that, they become roommates instead of couples and it shows a declining rate of passion.

Anyways, I get a text that reads "Sorry, hunny, I thought I did :( " and me, still emotional, types back "You didn't, and I don't see how you could forget because when I get ready to leave, you're all I think about." The truth is, I can see how he might think he kissed me goodbye when he didn't but I was still reacting from my heart instead of my head.

I waited a few minutes for a reply and when it didn't come, I wiped away the wetness around my eyes and started my day as usual, because what can I do? He's already gone and I can't just sit here stewing over something like that.

About an hour later, I hear the door unlock and swing open. Heavy footsteps run to the bedroom and DH wraps me in a tight, fierce hug with lots of kisses.

"Honey! You came back just to say goodbye!?" I exclaim as i throw my arms tighter around him.

"Yes, I don't want my honey to be sad." he says. After a few minutes, he departs and goes back to work.

Like I said, it's the little things that matter. I still can't believe he came all the way back just to give me my goodbye hug and kiss, but I'm so thankful and happy that he did.

I recently read an article on Yahoo about a family of 4 that supposedly lives fairly luxuriously with $14k a year.  I thought it was pretty impressive, especially when i found out you can make homemade laundry detergent that costs $0.03 cents per load as opposed to $.12 a load from buying commercial detergent.

So that got me thinking - DH and I are in the working poor class. We're not ghetto poor but we definitely don't have a lot of wiggle room, and I've often felt guilty about buying groceries and not really paying attention to the costs. I shop between Kroger's and Walmart and couldn't tell you which store has better deals on which items, nor could I tell you what I normally spend on staples like bread and milk. I just pick it up, and pay for it and don't think twice. The most I do is look for generic brand items on most food categories (not cereal - that has to be brand name!) and occasionally check the price per ounce in Walmart's aisles.

So I thought it's time to be more responsible, and more frugal. I've heard stories of women who save hundreds of dollars via couponing and some who have even had the grocery store pay them to take home groceries. I thought "Well, what the hell, what am I waiting for?"

That's when I learned the hard truth of coupons. I first checked Walmart's and Kroger's websites and found some nice deals: 40 cents off of 3 Cambell soups, a dollar off mayonnaise, a dollar off of hazelnut spread, save a dollar if I buy 2 of Welch's natural juice, save a dollar if I buy 3 Kellog cereals (2 on the list were ones DH and I eat regularly) and then one that said I can save a dollar on juice if I buy one box of a specific Kellog's cereal (the same cereal that was listed on the save $1 for 3 cereals coupon).  I was particularly proud of that last one because I could layer it with the 3 boxes of cereal from the other coupon AND maybe the Welch's coupon. Hurray for multitasking! I felt smart and savvy. I immediately ran to the living room and showed my husband, who laughed and jokingly said I was like ghetto people, but I think he was happy with me.

And...that's where it ended. After giving myself about five and a half bucks back, I scoured through literally dozens out of the hundreds of coupon sites available searching for more deals, but alas. I couldn't find anything for foods I actually buy. Furthermore, I was becoming bored and frustrated with having to go through all these different web pages and looking and hundreds of coupons to find one or two that I could actually use. I gave up then and there.

The thing is, most coupons are for junk food - processed, pre-packaged, frozen, sugary, chemical laden foods. Now, I'm no health nut or food snob, but I do not buy many of these kinds of foods - some, but not enough to warrant the coupons available. It's not because I believe in eating only organic, super healthy foods (although I do prefer healthy over nonhealthy if given a convenient option), but I just think fresh, homemade food tastes better. I'm not against feeding myself and my husband a pan of lasagna with tons of cheese and meat in it, but I prefer homemade lasagna to frozen dinner lasagna. Plus, I feel better about myself when I can tell my husband I actually cooked for him.

Also, I believe coupons tempt us to buy things we wouldn't buy otherwise, simply because there's a coupon dangling in our faces. When I looked at the lists of things "coupon queens" were bragging about, I would think things like "why would you even *need* that?" And the quantities of what they're buying - holy crap! One lady bragged "Where else are you going to buy 247 disposable razors for $5.00?" - I estimated the price but not the amount. 247 disposable razors!?!? Really? I mean, I suppose you could eventually use them all up, but why would you even want to keep that many razors in your house? Personally, I don't even have room to keep them in my little shoebox apartment. Not to mention they were those cheap Bic razors, which I've used and cut myself to pieces with so I ended up throwing the rest of the pack out - I think i used 2 out of 10 or 12. Just why???

I also wonder how these coupons on brand name products compare to just buying generic ones, which I think are normally around a dollar cheaper, anyways, right?

When they start regularly pumping out coupons on things fresh produce, I'll be on board. Until then, I think I'll save the hours and frustration spent searching and clipping coupons on things more valuable to my time, like studying for school, or working on a project, or even just playing a video game or watching a movie. I did like the few coupons I did find on Wamart and Kroger's, though. I think I can keep those up and not frustrate myself. Plus with Kroger's, I can load them onto my shopper's card so no printing and cutting. That's convenient. And $5.00 is still not bad, even if it's not 70% of my grocery bill.

Overall, coupon queen - not me.